Matthew 7:12 "Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God's Law and Prophets and this is what you get.” (The Message Bible)

A while back I was talking to a lady who said, “I've never had good social skills!” I was surprised at her statement because I never saw her lacking in her behavior towards others. Since then I've been thinking about social skills and where we get our standards for what is considered appropriate.

The rules for our conduct and behavior in society are created by society. Therefore the rules change over time. What was considered inappropriate several years ago is now considered appropriate and fashionable. Likewise what was considered appropriate several years ago is now considered outdated or old-school.

Each country has it's own set of rules and even in our own country the rules change in different locations. A small town has a much different set of social rules than does a large city. So then the question arises, how do we know how to conduct ourselves if the rules keep changing. There is one source we can go to for advice on social behavior that has never changed. That source is the Bible.

Our first job in life is to live our lives so that they are pleasing to God. That's the first and great commandment. Look at Matthew 22:37, 38 “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.” Our second job is to love everyone as we love ourselves. That is the second greatest commandment. Matthew 22:39 “And the second [is] like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” If we use the Bible as our guide we can't go wrong. That doesn't mean everyone will like us, but that's not what's important. Life is not a popularity contest. What is important is that we're living the life God wants for us.

I spent some time going through the Bible looking up all the texts I could find which referred to the kind of behavior we should have. Then I tried to break them up into different categories, starting with wisdom and our attitude, then our behavior towards everyone. Next are smaller categories such as our behavior in work, towards other believers, towards the Government, and in marriage and family. The wisdom and attitude category and the behavior towards everyone category were so large that I had to break those down to in groups of types of attitude and types of behavior.