2Thessalonians 3:10-15 For even when we were with you, we commanded this to you: If anyone does not desire to work, neither let him eat. For we hear some are walking in a disorderly way among you, not working at all, but being busybodies. And we command such and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that working with quietness, they may eat their own bread. And you, brothers, do not lose heart in well doing. But if anyone does not obey our Word through the letter, mark that one, and do not associate with him, that he be shamed. But do not count him as one hostile, but warn him as a brother.
It has been suggested that the people who were not working believed Christ was returning soon and therefore thought it wasn't necessary to do any work. Chapter 2 of 2Thessalonians does indicate that some of the people were confused or misled about the second coming of Christ. Unfortunately, idle hands become the devil's playground. The people were not working, but they had become busybodies. The Greek word used for busybodies in this text is defined this way:
1) to bustle about uselessly, to busy one's self about trifling, needless, useless matters,
a) used apparently of a person officiously inquisitive about other's affairs.
I called up a friend, who spends all day getting into the minds of others. I asked him how it is that lazy people eventually become busybodies. He said studies have shown that the mind needs stimulation. If there is no stimulation, physical or mental, it will create it's own by getting involved in the business of others, or by creating or imaging problems that aren't really there. The mind and body were designed to be active.
In verse 12 Paul commands and entreats the idle and disorderly to work with quietness. The definition of the word used for quietness is as follows:
1) quietness,
a) description of the life of one who stays at home doing his own work, and does not officiously meddle with the affairs of others,
Paul is asking the people go back to work and mind their own business. Then he encourages the church member to not lose heart in well doing. The church members needed to continue helping to each other and spread the gospel. Paul encourages them to keep going and not give up.
In verse 14 Paul tells the church that the person who does not work and continues to be disorderly and a busybody should not be associate with so that he might be shamed. The word used for associate is defined as:
1) to mix up together,
2) to keep company with, be intimate with one.
The word used for shamed is defined as:
1) to shame one,
2) to be ashamed,
3) to turn about.
Paul is saying not to be close friends with the person, or to keep close company with them, so that they might realize the direction their lives are going, be ashamed and turn their lives around.
Careful thought and prayer is needed when dealing with people who don't work or who seem to be disorderly. There are many people who cannot work for reasons which are not always obvious. Most people who are forced to quit working feel humiliated and frustrated at not being able to support themselves and they miss the work. Church members need to be very careful to make sure they don't end up further hurting or humiliating a person who cannot work.
It's too easy to make wrong assumptions. Find out the facts, ask God for guidance before assuming someone is lazy or being disorderly. I remember a time when I was working with substance abuse patients and went with them to the 4th of July celebration at the park. These patients were having fun and they were a noisy bunch, but there was no alcohol or drugs involved. A church member saw me with these patients. Sometime later, she commented that she “knew” I was not living right anymore. If she had taken time to find the facts, she would have found that I was volunteering my time to work with these people. One of the patients was being discharged from the program the next day and was afraid he would fail again. I talked with him about totally depending on God and then signed him up for some study lessons a friend of mine was writing and sending out. As a result, he ended up turning his life over to God. Never jump to conclusions. Ask God to show you what is true and to guide you.
If the person really is living disorderly and you need to separate yourself from them so that you don't fall into the same way of life, Paul says not to count the person as a hostile, but to warn them as a brother. Don't cut them off completely. Be friendly, but not close, and then speak to them with the same love you would for family. But again, don't speak to them until you've spent time in prayer and asked for guidance. God loves that person. He doesn't want to lose them, He will guide you in your dealings with them.