Romans 12:4-10 We have many parts in the one body, and all these parts have different functions. In the same way, though we are many, we are one body in union with Christ, and we are all joined to each other as different parts of one body. So we are to use our different gifts in accordance with the grace that God has given us.
If our gift is to speak God's message, we should do it according to the faith that we have; if it is to serve, we should serve; if it is to teach, we should teach; if it is to encourage others, we should do so.
Whoever shares with others should do it generously; whoever has authority should work hard; whoever shows kindness to others should do it cheerfully. Love must be completely sincere. Hate what is evil, hold on to what is good. Love one another warmly as Christians, and be eager to show respect for one another.
Every one of God's children are important and each one is given important gifts to keep the ministry going. Notice that some were to speak and some were to teach. Those are very important gifts, but right along with those gifts are the gift to serve and the gift to encourage. Most people don't think those are very important gifts, but without encouragement, the teachers and speakers would have a hard time keeping up their duties. It can be very discouraging and a bit frightening to step out in front of several people, whether it's behind a pulpit or by e-mail, and try to present a message. There will always be someone in the audience who might know more about part of the message, or who could present it better. It's a very humbling experience to know there are those who could do better. Without those wonderful, sweet, people who come up and give a word of encouragement, it would be easy to just throw in the towel and give up.
The people with the gift of serving are the ones who make it possible to get anything done. They are the ones who help keep things running, pull a program together, and do it all without drawing attention to themselves. Both the encouragers and the servers are just as important as the teachers and speakers. All of them have jobs that require a lot from each person and require a lot of time with God to be able to face the job and do it well.
When a church loses a member, it loses something very valuable. It loses a person with a gift needed to keep that church going. When a church is guilty of chasing that member away through pettiness, unkind words or actions, and thoughtlessness, that church has not only hurt the member, but it has hurt itself.
One of the alumni asked me to write about how to bring back church members who have been hurt. Having been one of those church members myself, I know what I needed and what I've seen others need to feel safe attending church again. In order to tell you, this message will be a bit longer than usual, but I hope you will find it worthwhile and useful.
My reason for not attending church was because some people had a problem with my going on Disability. There were also members who believed my health problems were the result of some sin. These people didn't know what was going on with my seizures, or how limited I am from the brain surgery. It was painful and humiliating to have to give up and go on disability and the comments of the church members just made the pain so much worse. I needed to get away to avoid hearing them and to heal.
I have heard similar stories from people who are going through a divorce, have lost a job, lost their business, and from other disabled people. The people making the comments have somehow forgotten that these things can happen to anyone of us. Bad things happen in a world where the devil is trying to win. Causing suffering is the devil's way of turning people from God. God has to allow some things to happen. He has to let us see how bad sin is and how wrong the devil is. Unfortunately, the devil uses church members to do his dirty work. No one has the right to judge another. That's God's job. Our job is to SINCERELY love each other.
The way to bring the wounded back to church is to visit them. Put aside all assumptions, and ignore all gossip about the person. Ask God to let you see them through His eyes. When you visit them, apologize. It doesn't matter if you were the one who chased them away. Right now you represent the church so be truly sorry that they were hurt and apologize for what happened. Tell them you know the incident or incidents never should have appened and you're sorry it did. Befriend the person. But let it be a true friendship, not just a friendship with the motive to get them to church and then think you're done with them. Be humble, kind, loving, and compassionate towards the person and then invite them to come to church with you, with the promise that you will stay by their side and protect them. People are less likely to attack a member if someone else is standing next to them. These attacks are usually done in quiet, because the attacker knows they shouldn't be saying those things.
Expect to protect the person for a long time. It takes a long time to feel safe again. Be ready for a setback. I've been back at church for several years, but it only took something to happen this summer to cause all the fear and hurt to come flooding back and to want to leave. Fortunately, I was able to reason through it and our church has been blessed with a very supportive pastor. Because I had seen him show compassion towards the disabled I felt safe in talking to him about it and he encouraged me to keep coming. It's not always easy. There are certain people that cause me to want to run and hide, but it's because of the encouragement of others that I can stay and face those people. The Church needs my gifts. It needs yours and everyone else's gifts. We can't afford to lose anyone.
Jesus was a friend to all kinds of people. He ignored the gossip of others. He encouraged and loved everyone. His gift of Salvation is for everyone. If we are truly brothers and sisters in Jesus, we can love and accept each other just as we are.