Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.

Paul gives the same instruction in Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” I think it's important to pay attention to both verses. Colossians says to obey your parents in all things. Ephesians says to obey your parents in the Lord. Put together it would come out as Children obey your parents in all things, in the Lord, for this is right and well-pleasing to the Lord. I think he is saying for children to obey their parents in all things, as long as those things don't go against the way the Lord wants us to live.

The word obey is different from the word submit. The word obey comes from the Greek word hupakouo which is the same word used for slaves. It means;

1) to listen, to harken

a) of one who on the knock at the door comes to listen who it is, (the duty of a porter)

2) to harken to a command

a) to obey, be obedient to, submit to. It comes from two words, hupo which means under, and akouo which has to do with hearing, understanding, and attending to what is being said.

When a wife submits to her husband she does so willingly. A child is under the authority and care of it's parents and must learn to obey. It's not a matter of choice, they must obey with one exception. If the parent is asking the child to do something that is wrong the child should not obey that request. Like adults, children are also under the authority of God first. God's authority comes before any other. This is why it is so important for both parents and children to develop a close relationship with God. If the parents and the children are praying and seeking God's will, there will be harmony in the family. There won't be a clash of wills if everyone is looking to Jesus for their guidance.

At what point is a child no longer a child or no longer under the authority of it's parents? One obvious answer is when the child is married. When a person become married they are under the authority of their spouse. The wife submits to the husband and the husband has the responsibility to make sure his family is taken care of. When they married they also became one, meaning that they have left their parents home and are now a team, working together.

But getting married isn't the only answer. Both the parents and the child need to pray for God's guidance on this. The parents need God to guide them when to let go of the child and the child needs God's guidance of when to leave the home and no longer be under the parents' authority. As long as the child is living in the parents' home they are still required to abide by rules set down by the parents.

Children, obey God and obey your parents in all things, in the Lord, for this is right and well pleasing to the Lord.

For further reading go to:
Wives Submit
Husbands Cherish and Respect