Colossians 3:12 You are the people of God; he loved you and chose you for his own. So then, you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

Nothing makes a person more attractive than the kind of person described in the text above. There is a feeling of tranquility when with such a person. These are not qualities reserved for women. This text was meant for men also. I've met both men and women with these qualities and have found that while they're usually very busy people, they manage to do their work with a calm, unruffled attitude and still have time to help others. I've also found that these people are never lacking for friends as others are constantly drawn to them.

I've been blessed with such a friend. Not only is she busy as a wife and mother, but she also teaches Japanese at one of the local colleges, and still finds time to reach out to others in need, plus take time to have fun with her friends. Just recently I've had to ask her for help getting to doctor appointments because my seizures got out of control again. She not only took me there, but also went in with me to help me remember what the doctor said and then scheduled the appointment for another doctor I had to see. About a week later I ended up with several days of seizures and sheepishly asked for her help again. She cheerfully agreed and as she was hanging up she said, “Thank you for calling me about this.” When she brought me home from the clinic she again thanked me for letting her help.

I have seen this same friend treat others with the same cheerful and caring attitude. She finds the good in each person and genuinely enjoys her time with each one. Never does she act as if she is doing the person a favor or appear as if she is better than they are. She is following what Romans and Galatians says.

Romans 12:16 “Have the same concern for everyone. Do not be proud, but accept humble duties. Do not think of yourselves as wise.”

Galatians 6:2, 3 “Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ's law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.”

My friend is also following a Japanese way of living. I asked her about how she was taught to treat others and she said, “Always put others before your own needs.” This is wise counsel but can be taken too far, so there needs to be a balance. We find that balance in Christ's life. He gave of himself constantly to others, but was wise enough to know that He needed time alone with His Father. He also knew He and His disciples needed go somewhere quiet for a rest. Without the dependence on God and time to rest, the body and mind will break down. Therefore put others first, but keep a healthy balance in serving others.

I think one more text that is important to look at is Ephesians 4:2 “ Be always humble, gentle, and patient. Show your love by being tolerant with one another.”

Gentleness and humility shouldn't be reserved just for those who act and think like ourselves, but should be shown to EVERYONE. Rather than being critical of someone's beliefs or how they're dressed, it is better to be tolerant with them. A critical spirit never attracts anyone towards God, but an attitude of compassion, patience, and humility is very attractive and difficult to resist. Our job is to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Only God can change a heart. Leave the changing to Him.